Sugar-Free Avo Nog (Plant Paradox friendly)

Not to be confused with awkward nog, this drink is my take on my Uncle Jerry’s famous eggnog… well, famous to me at least. To make his nog, egg yolks were soaked in whiskey overnight, then beat with sugar, heavy cream, cinnamon, and nutmeg. The egg whites on the other hand were whipped to medium peaks then folded into the egg yolk custard. The drink that resulted was rich, hella creamy, fluffy, and surprisingly lighter than it appears.

Uncle Jerry would have never explained it like that of course. In fact, I’m pretty sure I’ve only ever heard him speak a few phrases in my entire life. But rest assure, Granny knew his secrets so she passed on the nog tradition to me through her words, not literally. No doubt, my family would cringe at the sight of green nog.

Ohp, sorry. I’m talking about me again, aren’t I? I get so conceited when I write. Back to the subject at hand, we’re obviously going to need some substitutions if we’re going to make “Eggnog” fit our way of eating.

To start – in traditional eggnog recipes – the whites and yolks are handled separately, each with a distinct purpose. To replace the yolks, we first have to understand their purpose, which is to provide a fatty, rich, base – a custard if you will – for the cream & sugar to be whipped into. As I’ve learned previously, avocados have a similar nutritional content to egg yolks – coincidence? I think not; avocados are basically God’s holy egg yolk savior for all vegans to enjoy and bake as they please.

Next, we need to replace those pesky egg whites, which is the one ingredient that stumps many vegan bakers. Thankfully though, in recent years, aquafaba has earned high-esteem among internet foodies, bringing awareness to its powerful capabilities. Aquafaba – the residual brine from a can of chickpeas (or other neutral flavored beans) – can be whipped into soft, medium, and stiff peaks just like egg whites. To understand how this is possible, we shall compare it to the nutritional make-up of egg whites, which are roughly 10% protein & 90% water.

In short, egg whites are able to bubble because when you beat them, amino acids – i.e. proteins – untangle from their tiny, spherical shapes into long strands. These protein strands then congregate together creating a temporary structure, allowing for bubbles to be whipped into a state of suspended animation, creating sturdy, fluffy, egg whites. Because aquafaba has a similar chemical make-up, it works the exact same way; when beans are cooked in a can, proteins move from the beans into the water they’re cooked in, creating a protein to water ratio similar to egg whites.

Oh, and if you’re concerned about lectins, just buy Eden Beans, who pressure cook their canned beans, ridding them of most of their harmful lectins.

Of course, we still have to replace the cream and sugar. Cream is a no brainer, because full-fat coconut milk has only a few grams less fat than heavy cream, making it the perfect, fatty substitute. That fat, however, is needed to create a rich body that will keep the aquafaba in suspended animation; if you use light coconut milk, you will likely end up with flat, runny nog, which you probably don’t want. Give yourself a break, this is a drink to be had once or twice a year, make it right and go full-fat.

For sugar, we reach for our trusty alcohol sugars, either erythritol or xylitol. In this case, I prefer alcohol sugars to stevia because their flavor arouses the taste buds in a similar way to sugar, whereas stevia often only strikes a flat sweet cord in the mouth. However, if alcohol sugars still give you the heebie-jeebies, use 1/4 tsp – 1/2 tsp of liquid stevia to sweeten it. It won’t be quite as fulfilling, but it will lend the sweetness that this drink needs.

We hope you enjoy this nog as much as w-…

“WAIT WAIT WAIT. WHAT ABOUT THE WHISKEY?!”

You sneaky son of a bitch, I see you. Yeah, in my eyes, this drink isn’t complete without the addition of a ‘lil dark liquor – whiskey, rum, or bourbon to be exact. Not a lot is needed, only about a tablespoon per glass, or as little or as much as you desire. Growing up, the kiss of whiskey was Uncle Jerry’s trick to perfectly tantalizing & relaxing eggnog.

“Can I finish now?”

“Now that you’ve affirmed my strong belief to drink at noon every Thanksgiving Day, you can!”

“I never said that.”

“YYYEEEEEHAW! IT’S BOOZEY THURSDAY YA’LL!”

Ugh, we hope you enjoy this nog as much as we do. It’s rich, creamy, holiday-y, nutmeg-y, sweet, and the perfect mechanism to get you buzzed at noon time without you feelin’ guilty… I guess.

Cheers!
Ryan & Kim